Never Lack...

Last weekend, the arguably fearless commotion sparking Njoki Chege took on a prominent lawyer on her column for showing of his wealth on social media. According to Njoki the behaviour was unbecoming for a man fast approaching his fifties. Paragraph after paragraph she undressed this man's conduct leaving him exposed to the ravenous KOT. Some members of the KOT movement took no issue with the lawyer's opulent lifestyle painted all over his social media pages while the rest added onto Njoki's condemnation.

As I read the soul piercing words published in the Nairobian, I asked myself: "Who doesn't want to be rich?" - At least I know I do. I want to be rich. I want to have a mini show room of vehicles that I don't even use in my backyard and call them 'my toys'. I want profuse shopping holidays in the goddamn Dubai malls that I have only seen on Google and on socialites Instagram photos, because at that time Kenyan malls won't have the capacity to satiate my need to spend. And maybe when I have all these, I will flaunt them a little on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. I will caption photos telling my followers how good of a life am living. Then I will...no I don't know what I will do next! Perhaps I will end up on Njoki Chege's column!!

But hey, I have lived for two and quarter decades in this world. And if there is any lesson I have learned in these years is that folks don't always get what they want! I used to have faith in good academic papers. I have seen people acquire them at a simple cost and those who have godfathers, don't need the darned papers to get their dream jobs.

Am a grown ass adult who has seen wretched public officials open the public purse and draw billions of money as if it's a freaking personal account and still have the nerve to seek re-election in the name of kutumikia wananchi!  

I have seen atrocious murder propagated the very agents who have sworn to protect citizens and their property. So it's a crazy world and a crazier country and what one wants may/ may not get: the two can be profoundly disturbing antonyms, different sides of very different coins!

Key thing is, things are not always what they ought to be or even what we want  them to be.

This means that there are people of God in this world who will never be Donald Kipkorirs'. In the sense of behemoth wealth...not being bashed in a column! There are early birds, God fearing and devil condemning birds who will never catch the fat tasty worm! People who will never have a vehicle yard in their own homes and never get to refer exquisite car models as toys. I may or may not be in this category. If I am that's great, if am not isorait- I have a big ass mansion waiting for me in heaven!!

The idea of becoming filthy rich does not raffle me so much. But I don't want to be poor either. I have a standard and there is a rung I hope to never go below.

I just never want to lack.

You see I have lacked before. I have stayed without electricity for months because we were disconnected by Kenya Power for defaulting payment for several months- this was before pre-paid electricity was a conceived vision! I have had to eat githeri with nothing but salt because that's all my dear parents could afford. I have cried myself to sleep because I was out of school for weeks owing to fee arrears. My friend I know what it means to lack! And I absolutely abhor the feeling it brings with it, because it is anything but ennobling!

Here's the deal! I may never post a photo on Instagram leaning on a Lamborghini donning an overpriced Gucci dress. I may never own a fleet of exquisite cars that I don't need, but I sure as death never want to lack. If I ever have kids, I want to give them the best education and fund some fun. I want to be more today than I was yesterday and be better tomorrow than I was today. I need to be better than my parents because they have opened for me opportunities they never had. I want to see progress in my life!

Have you ever lacked? And I don't mean lacking sausage in the morning because mum forgot to buy them, or they were out of stock in the nearby shop. I mean elaborate lacking! The kind that draws your tears from their store. The kind where you are in a quandary over cooking your food because you ran out of paraffin and literally have no coin to replenish the empty bottle. Leaving you to wait till all the customers have left the local kiosk then you dart there to get some on credit. Adding more items on a growing list of items you have taken on credit!

Am talking about the kind of lack where you have to cut down your expenditure in campus and rely on the icky food provided by the varsity mess because you are quickly approaching the broke line! But no! Not that you had a drinking spree over the weekend, it's because you had to send some of your HELB upkeep money home to send your baby who is a form four candidate back to school!

The science of human psychology has explained the potential impacts of feeling insufficient on a person, this effects are not standard to all men. Having come face to face with it, you understand that it is not an imaginary monster that lurks in the dark corners of closets waiting to come out in the night: you know it's as real as cold death and scary taxes. With irony the weight of an anvil, insufficiency can mold you to become a butt kicking individual.

You grow up to hate lacking: In fact it is your second fear after snakes! A mere thought about it torments you like a crazy vindictive ghost. So you set out on a nearly sacred odyssey to create a life where insufficiency stays thousands of miles from you. There are tons of distractions along the way and the possibility of things going awfully raw lie in every darn corner. Some failure is always looming over your horizon. You have confidence in your plans, and you have memorized the quote that 'if you don't plan you plan to fail'. The quote, however crazy it sounds pumps some courage in your maze of a life. Cause even the best laid plans come face to face with unprecedented obstacles and the product of the collision becomes the textbook definition of failure! There are no guarantees, but anything is better than living a life of insufficiency!

We all admire success. And we want everybody to grin at our success story. The definition of success in our digital society is completed by the biggest spender, the one who has most cars, the one with flashy photos captured from exotic locations across the world and the one with the keys to the executive bathrooms. The ones whose stories are told in a few Facebook photos highlighted with surplus and luxury! Photos mainly meant to incite envy and admiration. But these stories are redacted, the definitions leave out an integral part of the stories- failure, at least for those who had to build the life from scratch.

When you set out on a journey to achieve something in life, there is usually one guarantee- of failure. Failure is not fan, but in irony it does bring the best out of us. Failure allows us to see things we couldn't in its absence, opening for us new possibilities and appreciation. Moving on past failure leads us to discover ourselves, that we are strong willed, wiser and stronger than we think: And this is power to press on.

Every success emblem printed on the Forbes cover page or published on some millionaire's Facebook page often has a few paragraphs of advice on what everyone yearning to be successful should do to hit the bull's eye. The other paragraphs celebrate the aura of this demigod who can buy air if they want to. Those who didn't inherit the money from dad or grandpa a story longer story. A story that when you take a closer look you will see lack behind it and a struggle to better. A story that cannot fit in few pages. A story that is rarely told!

Finally; to you, butt kicking individual who is struggling to keep lack at bay. You who are throwing punches at life but you seem o have more failures than wins. Keep running. Keep doing. And when you fail remember that it's an inevitable means to an end, it's not the end. Don't relent otherwise you will lack, completely. You won't be able to buy your kids sausage and ice cream and keep them in a great private school. Press on life won't fail to reward you. This is not a story about a destination, it's about a journey and you are well on track.

May you never lack. 

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