|A sandal with a broken strand|
In November 2015, I took a creative break. So I spent the last 2 months of the year building content for my blog and learning new tricks, useful on the blogging space. I also worked on a new name for my blog, although this took a lot of building and tearing down I eventually had one.
Over the holidays I had saved 3,000/=: I would spend 1,000/= to register with BAKE, and the remaining cash for my daily needs such as airtime and what have you (tight budget ahh!). By the time I left shagz on 3rd January 2016, I just couldn’t wait to get my blog up and running and yes, I never saw anything, in heaven, earth or even hell that could derail me.
Few days after my arrival in Nairobi I received a call from my dad at around 8am. He did not sound as strong as he always did on the phone. I could feel that he was struggling to laugh at my jokes. I could feel that he was reaching too deep to find energy reserves to finish the conversation, but in vain.
He then told me he was ill.
I was quite shaken because; one, it was unlike my dad to tell people that he was unwell especially his kids and two, my mind insinuated that this was something serious (you know how the mind takes you to places you don’t wanna go?).
I had a hunch this was not the cold that passed after a few day or the fever that faded without medication. After the phone call I could simply not shake off the feeling that something terrible was imminent.
Somehow the same mind created an idea that this was just a passing cloud, in an effort to make me feel better. The two ideas played in my mind in turns with equal frequency leaving me nervous wreck. By 12 noon, the cloud had not passed and my dad was en route to Nairobi for urgent medical attention accompanied by the love of his life, mother dear. I was taken over by fear, and you can understand because I have lived for 2 decades and I had never seen my dad suffer from anything more than a common cold or a simple cough. After examination by the doctors, he was admitted.
We were down financially (I mean we were just fresh from Christmas holiday!).
Every one of the 5 family members was required to contribute towards the new costs at hand (daily transport to and from the hospital, special diet, et al). I reached for my precious 3,000/=, though it was difficult to watch the money go along with my grand plans,
the reward of the hope to see my dad heal fast was greater.
See I had grand plans, I thought I had it all figured out: But that’s the thing nothing is fail proof as long as you are human and living in this world. And it’s not such a terrible thing; in fact it’s okay when even the grandest plans of them get warped. Because it keeps us on check. Being cognizant of the fact that we are not in absolute control of our fate (it’s okay if you don’t believe in fate) is a subtle way to keep us grounded.
Not a single human being has ever successfully turned off their emotions, achieving a state of complete ‘not feeling’. This is a luxury that only vampires on ‘The Vampire Diaries’ have. Knowing that you are susceptible to pain, that you are not invincible can frighten you but it can also cause you to remain humble in equal measure.
My father was admitted for 2 weeks and a few days, I was devastated, I was broken and my family was drained financially: A bunch of ugly things happened to me and my family in this time but it was also a time when I seriously counted my blessings. We got to go home with our father a great blessing since I know it does always go down like that for every family.
I have not registered with BAKE and my family is still putting the hard financial puzzles together.
Did you have something going on that hit a bump? Then know that it is okay, you are not the first, you are not the only one and you won’t be last. Pick something from that mess and give it another fierce shot.